Okay as a gay male i am trying to figure out why something is okay or not OK. 

yesterday i was trying to do my tumblr gay art blog and started running into pictures of sexy bodybuilders and photographs of men in various sexualized and nude situations, some of them homo social and some homosexual but both of them proving to be homo erotic or homo-sexotic to be precise.i decided that i wanted to keep “the gayness in me alive or nourish it” and started to blog them in a separate blog called homosexotic. i had various reasons for doing so. i thought straight men get to hetrosexualize the space so it is time for gay men to homosexualize the space. but there is an inherent problem in that argument. the pictures i used almost 75% of them were of straight men either in homo social situations or in bodybuilding pictures. the pictures were taken slightly from a voyeuristic gaze. doesn’t continuing watching those pics, condone the approach behind it and further jeprodize the morals of people who go about watching somethings. can i deny that i had a voyeristic attitude but one which became predatory in th past. thus i need to stop.

Later on i ended up acting out and even searched and watched porn. Today in the morning when i was reflecting on it i realized that perhaps my earlier blogging of sexy pictures in a separate blog could have contributed to my searching for porn. I thought i had moved from being a porn addict to just a mb addict but the reversal reminds me i need to be watchful of my actions. 


so while i was reflecting on this and came online on the mirc recovery room, i ran into a guy who has confessed to me that he is attracted to 16 yr olds. how do we deal with this from a social perspective. well for one thing we stop sexualizing 16 yr olds. and for me, i think i stop sexualizing, non homo photographs in that given that the men have not given their explicit consent to homo sexualize their pics, is it okay for us to sexualize or eroticize them without their explicit permission or consent. 

also don’t forget almost 95% of these are white pictures which adds another set of questions and complexities. do u really need to erotisize something you are trying hard to get away from. 


so yeah. i think pornography espeically photography since painting is just a depiction and photography is a digital image and ina  sense reality, gives the idea that sexual pleasure is a good goal and that is fine but the way modern pornograhpy work is that it has a deeply voyeuristic and exhibitionistic approach. also the whole “goal” is to show fucking for maximum masturbatory sexual arousal instead of any erotic or asthetic or even educational or entertatinment value. 

so in some way it is deeply exhibitionary and exploitative of self and social goodness, i think. also i wonder how much of this has got to do with whites suddenly confronted with non whites and the ensuring sexual tension that follows given the history of sexual taboos between whites and non whites. also given the instant commercialization/gratification and fast food culture, what we have is fast fuck fast erection solutions i suppose and that is reflected in pornography. 

but having said that i wonder about the legitimacy of pornography. to some degree, i understand people have sexual outlets and needs but seriously isn’t that a little too much. also should sexuality be exalted the way it is being today. isn’t it kind of childish. we live in such a hyper sexual world, yet being homosexual is still something that is supposed to be hidden. so yeah, the thing about porn is that it doesn’t seem to want to educate people about positions or sexual techniques. it is mostly about fantasy and that is where the problem comes in. are threesome justifiable? what about groupies? I mean isn’t porn filled with it. and how is watching others have sex ever “educational”  or even”erotic” isn’t it always exploitative and exhibitionist. 

so yeah watching porn has to stop without a doubt. now with regard to pornified images in the media, ie porn like attitudes of bodybuilders etc. hmmm. i dont know . well my sexotic blog was definately there adn i think my justification for it was that straight guys have their “sexualized media and space” and we need to follow and i think there lies my mistake. see what is happening in india with sexual moral. gang attacks on women, attacks on young women so i am not sure how much of this sexual liberation has worked for women. so yeah i think it is important to have morals. by rejection pornography and pornified images ( which include voyeristic of exhibitionist pictures which weren’t intended for sexual use ie homosexual usage but are now being used so , say in my blog need to go. I need to get rid of the sexotic pictures. i mean say we have beautiful butts, what can one do wih it. can one have sex with them? but isnt erotic about that. celebrating sexual beauty. but if we celebrate sexual beauty where do we stop or set the line, 16 yr old, younger babies, there seem to be a sexual desire for almost everyone. so i think i need to come to my senses and in my personal life try to get deeper sexual morality. and no morality is not like muscles it is more like morality in a deeply spiritual sense. ask God for guidance and he will guide  you.